my hardheaded lil brother

INTRO:I KNOW YOU SHOULD ALWAYS LOVE YO LIL BROTHERS BUT I JUST CAN'T GET ALONG WITH MINE.I KNOW WHAT YOU SAYING RIGHT NOW HE PROBABLY GET ON YOUR NERVES AND STUFF BUT IT'S MORE THEN THAT PETTY MESS.HE DOES STUPID STUFF AND DOESN'T LISTEN TO NOBODY.BUT I GUESS HE DOES THAT BECAUSE HE DRINKS 24/7.WHEN HE DRINKS HE A WHOLE NOTHER PERSON BUT NOT THAT DIFFERENT FROM HISSELF THOUGH.BUT NOW THAT HE'S GONE I LOVE HIM TO DEATH.I GUESS IT'S RIGHT WHEN THEY SAY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL IT'S GONE.BUT LET ME TAKE YOU BACK BEFORE HE DIED.


WE WAS HAVING A PARTY AT OUR HOUSE AND EVERYONE WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME.I WAS DANCING WITH MY BEST FRIEND MARCUS AND TALKING AT THE SAME TIME.MARCUS WAS LIKE MY BODYGUARD HE AIN'T LET NOTHING HAPPEN TO ME AT ALL.I KEPT LOOKING AT MY LIL BROTHER SPEC SITTING ON THE COUCH DRINKING LIQUOR LOOKING DEPRESSED AS ALL.SADDNESS WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY HEART WHEN I LOOKED AT HIM AND MARCUS NOTICED IT.

MARCUS:WHAT'S WRONG
SHANKIA:LOOK AT HIM
MARCUS:*LOOKING AT SPEC*HE DO LOOK DEPRESSED OVER THERE SITTING BY HISSELF
SHANKIA:I'M GOING TO GO TALK TO HIM REAL QUICK
MARCUS:IIGHT

I WALKED OVER TO SPEC AND SAT BESIDE HIMJUST STARING.BUT HE KNEW I WAS THERE HE JUST DIDN'T LOOK AT ME.AS HE TOOK A SIP OF LIQUOR I TRIED TO TAKE IT AWAY BUT HE PUSHED MY HAND AWAY.I JUST ROLLED MY EYES AND TRIED NOT TO FUSS WITH HIM.

SHANKIA:WHY YOU NOT DANCING
SPEC:........
SHANKIA:YOU NOT GOING TO TALK TO ME
SPEC:........
SHANKIA:YOU KNOW YOU CAN GO TO YOUR ROOM IF YOU WANT TO
SPEC:........

I COULDN'T DO MORE THEN LEAVE A KISS ON HIS FOREHEAD AND TELL HIM I LOVE YOU.BUT HE ACTED LIKE IT DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING TO HIM.SO I GOT UP AND WALKED BACK TO MARCUS WITH A UNHAPPY FACE.

MARCUS:HE NOT TALKING
SHANKIA:NO
MARCUS:WELL DON'T GET SAD HE JUST NEED TO BE ALONE
SHANKIA:BUT MARCUS HE DON'T EVEN WON'T TO LOOK AT ME
MARCUS:THAT LIQUOR GOT HIM ACTING LIKE THAT NOT YOU
SHANKIA:I WISH THAT WAS TRUE*LOOKING AT THE GROUND*
MARCUS:AY*LIFTING MY HEAD UP*IS YOU GOING TO ENJOY YOUR PARTY OR WHAT
SHANKIA:OKAY*TRYING TO SMILE*

SO WE STARTED DANCING BUT I KEPT LOOKING AT SPEC BUT HE DIDN'T DARE LOOK BACK AT ME.THEN MY FRIEND JULISSA CAME OVER TO US WITH DIAMOND ON HER BACK.ME AND MARCUS COULD SEE THEY WAS BOTH DRUNK.

JULISSA:GIRL THIS PARTY IS BUMPING
SHANKIA:YOU KNOW IT
MARCUS:BLUE GET OFF HER BACK STUPID
DIAMOND:MAN SHE OWE ME A PIGGY BACK RIDE ANYWAY
JULISSA:I KNOW YOU GETTING HEAVY BOY
DIAMOND:WELL THAT'S YO FAULT YOU SHOULDN'T OF BET
SHANKIA:WHAT YA'LL BET ON
JULISSA:WE BET ON......
DIAMOND:SHHHHH YOU CAN'T TELL*PUTTING HIS FINGER OVER HIS LIP*
JULISSA:OH YEAH I CAN'T TELL BUT I'M BOUT TO GO OUTSIDE
MARCUS:WELL WHATEVER DON'T BREAK YO BACK WITH THAT BOY

WE LAUGHED AND THEY TROUTED OUTSIDE THE DOOR WHERE SOME PEOPLE WAS TALKING AND SPITTING GAME.I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME SINCE I TOOK MY MIND OFF SPEC.THEN I SAW MY COUSIN WALK THROUGH THE DOOR.HIS NAME WAS SHAFFER BUT I CALL HIM NE-YO.I WAS SUPRISED BECAUSE HE SAID HE PROBABLY WASN'T GOING TO COME.BUT WHEN WE SAW EACH OTHER I RAN AND GAVE HIM A HUG.

SHANKIA:HEY
NE-YO:HEY GIRL YOU LOOKING GOOD
SHANKIA:YOU LIKE
NE-YO:IF YOU WON'T MY COUSIN I WOULD GET AT YOU
SHANKIA:I BET YOU WOULD
MARCUS:HEY NE-YO*WALKING OVER TO US*
NE-YO:WHAT'S UP BOY
MARCUS:NOTHING MUCH
NE-YO:SO YA'LL TWO DATING YET
SHANKIA:NAW NE-YO WE JUST BEST FRIENDS
NE-YO:WELL YA'LL SHOULD BE
SHANKIA:NE-YO SHUT UP
NE-YO:I'M FOR REAL
MARCUS:*LAUGHING*SO HOW THINGS GOING
NE-YO:NOTHING NEW SO WHERE THE LIL SPEC AT

I POINTED TO WHERE HE WAS SITTING BUT I DIDN'T LOOK THOUGH.THEN NE-YO LOOKED OVER WHERE I WAS POINTING THEN LOOKED BACK AT ME LIKE"CAN YOU SEE".

NE-YO:I DON'T SEE HIM

THEN I TURNED MY HEAD REAL QUICK AND SPEC WASN'T SITTING ON THE COUCH.THEN MY WORRIED FACE CAME UPON MY FACE.I RAN OVER TO THE COUCH AND LOOKED AROUND.THEN I LOOKED OUTSIDE BUT NO SPEC.THEN MARCUS AND NE-YO HELPED LOOK FOR HIM.BUT THEN WE FINALLY GAVE UP AND I JUST THOUGHT WHY.THEN MARCUS HELD ME IN MY ARMS AND MY HEAD LAID ON HIS CHEST.I THOUGHT SPEC WAS GONE AND DEEP DOWN I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.THEN I THOUGHT FOR A MINUTE AND PUSHED OFF MARCUS AND RAN TO SPEC'S ROOM.I CUT ON HIS LIGHT AND SPEC WAS HALF OFF THE BED KNOCKED OUT.I RAN TO HIM AND HUGGED WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING.THEN I WOKE HIM UP AND SPEC ALWAYS ACTED CRAZY WHEN HE JUST WOKE UP.

SPEC:GET OFF ME
SHANKIA:WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WAS GOING TO BED
SPEC:WHY YOU IN MY ROOM*LOOKING AT NE-YO AND MARCUS*WHY THEY IN MY ROOM
SHANKIA:I WAS LOOKING FOR YO ASS THAT'S WHY
SPEC:WHY YOU LOOKING FOR ME I'M NOT GOING ANY WHERE
SHANKIA:WELL I DON'T KNOW THAT IF YOU DON'T TELL ME
SPEC:I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU NOTHING I'M GROWN
SHANKIA:SPEC I WAS WOR-
SPEC:*INTERRUPTED*MAN GET OUT MY ROOM
SHANKIA:SPEC
SPEC:GET OUT*HOLLERING*
MARCUS:SPEC DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT
SPEC:YOU CAN GET OUT TOO

THEN MARCUS WAS BOUT TO STEP IN HIS FACE BUT I PUSHED HIM BACK.THEN I WALKED OUT HIS ROOM AND AS SOON AS MY BODY WAS OUT HIS ROOM HIS SLAMMED THE DOOR.I JUST CLOSED MY EYES AND I KNEW I COULDN'T ENJOY THE REST OF MY PARTY.YA'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN A PORTION OF WHY WE DON'T GET ALONG.BUT MARCUS TRIED TO CHEER ME UP EVEN THOUGH NE-YO GOT TIRED OF ME NOT STICKING UP FOR MYSELF AGAINST SPEC SO HE JUST WALKED OFF.THEN THE CROWD TURNED INTO A FEW PEOPLE.WHO WAS ME,MARCUS,NE-YO,JULISSA,DIAMOND,MY FRIEND KIESHA,MY HOMIE COREY AND 5 DUDES STANDING OUTSIDE WAITING FOR A RIDE.SO WE ALL SAT DOWN AND STARTED TALKING EXCEPT ME.I JUST SAT BACK AND ACTED LIKE I WAS INTERESTED BUT MARCUS COULD SEE RIGHT THROUGH THAT.THEN I HEARD SPEC'S DOOR OPEN AND LOOKED AT BACK ROOM.HERE'S COME SPEC STAGGERING THROUGH THE HALL AND WHEN HE WENT TO THE KITCHEN EVERYONE LOOKED AT HIM THEN AT ME.

AS SOON AS SPEC WALKED INTO THAT KITCHEN...
KEISHA:WHAT WRONG WITH YOUR BROTHER
COREY:I KNOW HE BEEN DRINKING OR SOMETHING
SHANKIA:YEAH HE HAD A L-
MARCUS:A FEW YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE GET
COREY:FOR REAL THOUGH
KEISHA:BUT HE LOOK LIKE HE'S BEEN DRINKING FROM THE GET GO

SEE MY FRIENDS REALLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT HIS DRINKING PROMBLEM.I MEAN THEY KNOW HE DRINK BUT NOT 24/7 DRINKING.BUT I'M GLAD MARCUS HELPED ME OUT SO I WOULDN'T EMBARRASS MYSELF.SO WHILE EVERYONE WAS STILL TALKING I GOT UP AND WENT IN THE KITCHEN.SPEC KEPT OPENING THE FRIDGE AND CLOSING.I WAS WONDERING WHAT HE WAS DOING SO I ASKED...

SHANKIA:WHAT ARE YOU DOING
SPEC:WHERE DID YOU PUT MY BOTTLE
SHANKIA:I DIDN'T DO NOTHING WITH IT
SPEC:WELL IT'S NOT IN HERE
SHANKIA:AND IT'S STILL NOT GOING TO BE IN THERE EVERY TIME YOU OPEN OR CLOSE IT
SPEC:LOOK IF YOU GOT MY BOTTLE GIVE IT TO ME
SHANKIA:YOU MIGHT HAVE DRUNK IT ALL
SPEC:I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT ONE I HAD ANOTHER ONE IN HERE
SHANKIA:WELL I HOPE YOU NEVER FIND IT
SPEC:HUH*CLOSING THE FRIDGE*
SHANKIA:YOU HEARD ME
SPEC:SO YOU TOOK MY BOTTLE DIDN'T YOU
SHANKIA:NO I DIDN'T
SPEC:THEN WHY YOU SAY THAT FOR
SHANKIA:BECAUSE LOOK WHAT IT'S DOING TO YOU
SPEC:IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER THEN WHAT I FELT BEFORE
SHANKIA:YOU KNOW WHAT....JUST FUCK IT

I WALKED OUT THE KITCHEN AND WENT BACK TO THE COUCH.KEISHA AND COREY WAS STILL TALKING.JULISSA AND DIAMOND WAS KNOCKED OUT AND NE-YO WAS GEARING UP TO LEAVE.

NE-YO:WELL LOOK I GOT TO GO IIGHT
SHANKIA:SO SOON
NE-YO:NOW YOU KNOW HOW THINGS IS BUT I PROMISE I'LL BE HERE NEXT WEEK OR THE WEEK AFTER
SHANKIA:OKAY BYE
NE-YO:BYE
MARCUS:BYE MAN
NE-YO:BYE
KEISHA:BYE NE-YO
COREY:PEACE
NE-YO:BYE

THEN NE-YO LEFT AND SOON ENOUGH KEISHA AND COREY WAS BOUT TO HEAD OUT BUT DIAMOND AND JULISSA WAS STILL KNOCKED OUT.WHEN KEISHA AND COREY LEFT IT GOT REAL QUIET BETWEEN ME AND MARCUS.THE ONLY THING WE COULD HERE WAS JULISSA AND DIAMOND SNORING AT THE SAME TIME.

MARCUS:THEY NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
SHANKIA:*LAUGHING*
MARCUS:YOU THINK WE COULD CRASH HERE BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL LIKE DRIVING
SHANKIA:YEAH BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE GUEST ROOM UNLESS YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH THEM
MARCUS:NOW WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE SLEEPING WITH THEM FOOLS
SHANKIA:WELL YOU COULD SLEEP WITH ME LIKE OLD TIMES
MARCUS:I WOULD LIKE THAT BETTER

SO I PICKED UP DIAMOND AND MARCUS PICKED UP JULISSA AND WE TOOK THEM BOTH TO THE GUEST ROOM.THEN I LOOKED TO SEE IF SPEC WAS IN BED.HE WAS SLEEPING IN PEACE SO I DIDN'T MESS WITH HIM.THEN I PUT ON MY NGHT CLOTHES AND GOT INTO BED.THEN MARCUS CAME IN AND TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT AND PANTS AND GOT IN WITH ME.THE NEXT MORNING I WOKE UP TO SOMEONE SORTA WHINING LIKE THEY WAS CRYING BUT IT WAS MOANING.SO I GOT UP TRYING NOT TO WAKE MARCUS AND WENT TO SPEC'S ROOM.SPEC WAS LAYING ON THE BED JUST WHINING.

I WAS WONDERING WHY HE WAS CRYING BECAUSE IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME HE FELT BAD.BUT AS I WALKED CLOSER TO HIM I DIDN'T SEE NO THROW UP,NO BLOOD NO NOTHING SO I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST ACTING CRAZY.I SAT ON THE BED AND LOOKED AT HIM.

SHANKIA:WHY YOU CRYING FOR
SPEC:IT HURTS
SHANKIA:WHAT HURTS
SPEC:EVERYWHERE
SHANKIA:CAN YOU MOVE
SPEC:I DON'T KNOW
SHANKIA:WELL TRY TO GET UP
SPEC:*TRYING TO GET UP BUT HOLLERS*IT HURTS
SHANKIA:WONDER WHY
SPECON'T START WITH ME ABOUT THAT
SHANKIA:WELL IT'S THE TRUTH SO DEAL WITH IT
SPEC:.......
SHANKIA*PUTS HER HAND OVER SPEC'S HEAD*YOU PROBABLY GOT A FEVER YOU FEEL HOT
SPEC:CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME OF MY LIQUOR
SHANKIA:NO BUT I CAN GET YOU SOME WATER
SPEC:I DON'T WANT THAT
SHANKIA:WELL THAT IS WHAT GOT YOU SICK IN THE FIRST PLACE*GETTING UP AND WALKING OUT THE ROOM*
SPEC:NO IT WASN'T*WHISPERING*

SO SHANKIA:WENT INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIXED HIM A GLASS OF WATER.THEN MARCUS WOKE UP AND CAME IN.THEN HE PUT HIS HANDS OVER HER EYES.

MARCUS:GOOD MORNING
SHANKIA:MORNING*TAKING HIS HANDS FROM OVER HER EYES*
MARCUS:WHAT YOU DOING UP
SHANKIA:FIXING THAT DUMBASS SOME WATER
MARCUS:FOR WHAT
SHANKIA:HE FEELING BAD I GUESS
MARCUS:HE'LL PROBABLY BE BETTER IN A FEW
SHANKIA:YEAH BUT I STILL HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM
MARCUS:WHY HE GROWN ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF
SHANKIA:BUT NOT SMART ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF HISSELF
MARCUS:WHY YOU SAY THAT

SHANKIA WALKED OVER TO THE TABLE AND SAT IN THE CHAIR SO MARCUS DID THE SAME.

SHANKIA:IT WAS BACK WHEN WE WAS LIL

FLASHBACK:WE WAS OUTSIDE PLAYING FREEZE TAG EATING OUR CANDY NECKLACES AND STUFF.THEN MY DAD HAD PULLED UP DRUNK AS HELL.SPEC ALWAYS WANTED TO BE LIKE HIM SO I GUESS THAT WHERE HE GOT THE DRINKING PROMBLEM FROM.BUT ANYWAYS HE WALKED IN THE HOUSE AND STARTED FUSSING WITH MY MAMA.SO ME AND SPEC WAS NOISY AND STARTED LISTENING.THEY WAS LIKE...

DA:LOOK WE NEED THAT MONEY BEFORE IT'S TIME
MA:LOOK I DONE SOLD ALL THE DRUGS I COULD
DA:WELL THEN WHY MY CLIENTS HAVEN'T BEEN GETTING NONE
MA:WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
DA:ALL MY BOYS SAYING THEY HAVEN'T GOT NO DRUGS AND I KNOW YOU
MA:WHAT YOU THINK I'M KEEPING THEM
DA:WELL THERE'S NO OTHER OPTION
MA:LOOK YOU DRUNK AND YOU NOT THINKING STRAIGHT SO GO ON SOME WHERE
DA:I GO WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT

MY MOM AND MY DAD WAS GOING OFF AND IT BECAME SLAPPING,CUSSING,BEATING AND SOME MORE CUSSING SO I TOOK SPEC AWAY BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS SEEING TOO MUCH OF THAT MESS BUT LIL DID I KNOW HE BECAME WHAT HE SAW.EVER SINCE THAT HE STARTED DRINKING,STEALING,FIGHTING AND ALL KIND OF SHIT.
COMING BACK FROM FLASHBACK

SHANKIA:WELL THERE IT IS
MARCUS:YOU AIN'T NEVER TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR PARENTS
SHANKIA:WELL MY MOM DIDN'T STEAL THE DRUGS SHE WAS USING IT FOR HER OWN NEW CLIENTS AND THAT'S WHY DAD'S CLIENTS AIN'T GET THE STUFF,BUT THE THING WAS SHE WAS SAVING THAT MONEY FOR ME AND SPEC SO WE BOTH COULD BE TOGETHER IN OUR OWN HOME BUT WHEN DAD FOUND OUT HE TRIPPED AND SERVED LIFE IN JAIL FOR MURDER AND ATTEMPTED MURDER
MARCUS:HE KILLED YOUR MOM
SHANKIA:YEAH AND TRIED TO KILL US TOO BECAUSE WE SAW IT ALL BUT WE RAN AND GOT TO THE POLICE*A TEAR COMING DOWN HER CHEEK BUT SHE WIPES IT OFF*
MARCUSO SPEC KNOW
SHANKIA:NO AND PROBABLY WOULDN'T GIVE A FUCK ANYWAY
MARCUSON'T SAY THAT
SHANKIA:I KNOW BUT LET ME TAKE THIS BOY SOME WATER
MARCUS:AIIGHT

I GOT UP AND WENT TO SPEC'S ROOM STILL THINKING BUT WHEN I GOT IN THERE SPEC WASN'T IN THE BED AND HIS WINDOW WAS OPENED!